The Battle of Flesh vs Spirit

Hey Friends, 

I recently had a soul-punch of conviction and that was really hard to take. 

I mean it was beautifully, kindly brought to my attention and it was not intended to be so intense. But the Spirit really took the words of constructive criticism that I was receiving, and it just punched my soul with conviction. 

What I had to confront was my true motives for something. It was a battle between the flesh side of me and the spirit-filled side of me. 

The flesh side of me wanted to do things and end up with recognition for my work and the spirit-filled side wanted God’s work to be done and His name to be known. It was just such a clear battle between the two. The conviction I felt was a question of which were my true motives? It didn’t look good. 

I realized I hadn’t been honest with myself. I had heard the small voice in the back of my head secretly whispering, “I want recognition.” And in the front of my mind, I replied “No, of course not. I just want God’s name to be known.”   But I was lying. I wanted both.  

The reason why I bring this up is because I want you to know what I’ve been learning in this season. I’ve been learning that, of course, there are two sides to you. There is the human nature side, the flesh side that wants the things of this world; it’s driven by selfishness. Then there is the spirit-filled side of you that wants what God wants.  

There is nothing wrong with me for having this division. It is natural when you are seeking God and a life that honors Him. It will conflict with what the rest of the world and your sinful nature are saying. 

So, part of my process right now is identifying the conflicting parts of me. I do this by practicing true honesty with myself and learning to listen to that voice in the back of my head instead of ignoring it. Part of being a mature Christian and growing into an emotionally healthy individual God intended for us to be is acknowledging our thoughts as they are. 

I had to acknowledge the flesh side of me that really did want recognition. I had to be honest with God and with myself about that. Once I did that and laid it out, I discovered that God still loved me and there was no punishment for my thoughts.  

This assurance allowed me to process my true feelings and motives with my spirit-filled side.  I could expose it to the light of day and process it with scripture, prayer, with what I know of God’s character and what He wants of us. 

This is an encouragement to be brutally honest with yourself and God about your true thoughts, feelings, motives, and desires. Don’t spiritualize it and use Christianese to explain it away and seem holier than thou. We were made to feel, and we were born into sin. So, denying those things is harmful to us and others around us.  The lies will always find us out in the end and, likely, at a highly inconvenient time. Instead, be honest. 

At that point, we can say, “God, I would love to have influence. I would. It has been drilled it my brain through social media, it is in my nature. But I lay it down before you. I ask you to remove the desire to have my name in big shiny lights and instead to replace it with the desire to have your name known.  It is inconsequential how well my name is known.”  

With that process of admitting it and surrendering it to God, I am being honest and still being loved. This allows me to be able to turn my perspective around and choose God’s way instead of my own. 

That is my encouragement to you today; if you are feeling nudges, if you are feeling guilt, don’t ignore it. If you sense the battle of the your flesh vs spirit, pay attention to it. Be honest in a safe space, bring in a safe person you can vent to and process it with. But we cannot ignore those nudges. They have to be brought to light and addressed. Then healing and true spirit-led motives can be revealed.  

Rooting for you, 

Marcie D 

Finding Joy