Forgiveness Breeds Contentment

Dear friends, 

Yesterday evening with my children, my son in particular, was a rough one. Long story short, there was disobedience, disrespect, antagonizing, and bad attitudes. I got so discontented with my situation because my young children are exhausting in their disobedience! 

Fortunately, I did a decent job of keeping my calm yesterday, and while I may have gotten carried away with taking things from him, I kept my cool. Also fortunately, my husband stepped in a couple times to talk to him about the problem with disrespecting mommy. I will forever be grateful he takes the time to do that and sets the standard of respect in our home.  

It’s been a few exhausting days of managing my children honestly. As they start to get older, 4 and 5 ½ years old, we have sadly reached the full-blown tattling stage and that’s draining! My children can be very kind, sweet and respectful, but other times it’s like they’ve lost their ever-loving minds, and I don’t know who raised them!  

They hurt me emotionally, physically and mentally. I’m drained attempting to be a godly mom in the midst of the pain and confusion that is parenting these days with so many different methods being bandied about on the internet.

Dear friends, I am hurt, disrespected and exhausted.  

But I got a couple of truth bombs from God this morning that I need to share with those of you going through similar struggles, with kids, elders or peers.

Are you ready for this?  

#1 – “Discontentment blinds our hearts to the effect of our sin on others” (Joanna Weaver, Embracing Trust). 

#2 – “Choosing forgiveness can be one of the most difficult decisions we make. It is especially hard when the person who hurt us has done so repeatedly, and it’s even harder when they aren’t repentant” (Rachel Adams, email called A Little Forgiveness Goes a Long Way). 

Let’s look at these real quick. My discontentment that my children aren’t perfect little angels causes resentment in me and breaks down my good attitude toward them. They may apologize, but it doesn’t always feel like they mean it. They just want mommy happy again and to avoid trouble. They cannot understand at their age the full implications of how their actions impact me.  

So, in my discontented state, I hurt them because I’ve been hurt too and I’m sick of it. It hurts their little hearts to see mommy so upset with them and unwilling to let go of the hurt and just play. I’ve been holding onto my hurts like a purple star; a badge of honor for those wounded in the line of duty.  

I need to forgive my children for hurting me.

God has forgiven me every single time I hurt others (Psalm 103:11-12), so why do I get to hold onto my children’s sin?!? The simple answer is that I don't.

The day-to-day truth is that it’s hard to put ourselves in that place of humility and remember to make the choice to forgive them anyway, even while we’re still hurting. 

Even when my children don’t want to apologize, or they think a quick “sorry” makes everything better, I need to forgive them. Because truly, forgiveness isn’t just for them; it’s for me, too.  

Forgiveness frees you from the hurt and anger building up inside of you and turning you discontented. This is relevant for everyone, not just parents. Forgiveness allows you the freedom to fully love your children again because you know that they are fully loved by the heavenly father; and so are you.  

We may not be able to forget how they’ve hurt us, I’m not sure anyone but God is truly capable of forgetting past hurts (Hebrews 8:12). But we can still choose to forgive them in spite of that.  

After those truth bombs, I called out the lies that said I should hold onto the hurts, that I should expect them to happen again today and brace myself for it, that I deserve to be upset and spread my discontentment around.  

Instead, I choose to forgive them, I choose to practice gratitude and honestly and to call out the things I love about them and our situation. My heart lightened, I smiled, and was able to love my children, even in the moments they were still being a little butt this morning. We parted well and my heart was happy.  

It’s not easy to forgive and choose contentment, but it’s a process that is worth the effort.  

Rooting for you dear friends, 

Marcie D