The Power of Letting Go of Anger and Speaking the Truth

Ephesians 4:25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. 26 “In your anger do not sin”[a]: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold. Father God, we hear your heart speak open and loudly as we continue to walk through the things we need to put off, and the things we need to cling to. Please speak truth and life into us today as we discuss hard to capture disciplines you call us to follow. Allow us to seek you in our actions daily, and bring you praise and glory in our actions. We honor you in these moments of learning.

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Hey Friends, Last week, Marcie taught about the importance of putting off your old self and putting on the new. As we dive into the next verses over the next couple of weeks, we are given highly tangible and plainly spoken ways to do just that. This week, we are looking over the theme of 2 thoughts:

1. Speaking truthfully

2. Letting go of anger
   

First, let's talk about honesty. Paul is urging us to only speak the truth. He says, “speak truthfully to your neighbor”. Remember, Jesus makes a point that your neighbor is not just the person you live next to, but anyone you encounter (see Luke 10:25-37). He even gives the very reason for this: “for we are all members of one body.” This is seriously crucial.

Trust is built on honesty. When we are honest with each other- even when it may hurt- we are able to trust that person more openly, especially when it comes out of love. This is important in the body of Christ (1 Corinthians 12:12-27). In 1 Corinthians, Paul reminds us that everyone in the body is important. If even one person is no longer there, the body hurts, but if one triumphs, everyone gets to celebrate. Can you imagine what would happen if the body became broken due to lying?

I have experienced this firsthand. Ever since leaving my parents' house when I was in college, Church has been my family away from family. Throughout the years and the many moves, I have been a part of many church families. There have been beautiful experiences where I felt the love of Christ just oozing out the people (like at the church we attend now) and then there have been others that were filled with mistrust and hate.

These churches I found didn’t last long. Once a rumor or lie hit these churches, the people never wanted to stay. Sometimes this was church-wide, and other times it was within a smaller group in the church. I have experiences in bible study groups where if one person lies to another, division immediately is sparked within the group- and eventually the group disbands all together. Dishonesty kills the soul of the church.

I have also experienced what lovingly brutal honesty can do as well. The best example I have of this is with my relationship with Marcie. Over the years we have had many chances to speak the truth into each other's lives, even when we knew it wasn’t exactly what the other person wanted to hear. But this honesty was the epitome of iron sharpening iron; we were able to face some things in our lives we never would have if it hadn’t been called out. Now we are able to fully trust each other and build this amazing ministry together.

What’s interesting is that Paul then brings up anger. He states, “in your anger do not sin.” Have you ever been lied to? What’s the emotion that most frequently is associated with it? Anger.

I have been caught in this anger many, many times. Many times in one day, in fact. Many times this week, in fact- and it’s usually based on a lie or broken promise.

First, I want you to hear: Paul is not saying the feeling of anger is wrong. Let’s repeat that: the feeling of anger is not wrong. What can become wrong is the action that can be sin. Anger is easily one of the most frequent emotions that lead to sin. It’s second nature. We get angry, then we react. Usually that reaction is not in love.

Paul wants us to remember to not let our anger- whether that is from a lie, or from something else, - cause us to sin. He says it is a foothold for the devil. When we hold onto anger- our mind is now open to the lies and harm from the enemy. He will start to whisper his falsehoods into our ear: “That wasn’t fair.” “You deserve better.” “You deserve justice.” “Seek revenge.” Friends- DON'T GIVE HIM THAT FOOTHOLD.

The last year of my life has been a huge battle in this exact thing. I have had lies and hurt come from all directions: from my friends, my husband, my kids, and even, at one point, a church. Each time I was hit with lies, I went through all the emotions, including anger. It is only when I can let go of the anger that I was able to reconcile the relationships and move through love into healing. It’s a choice to stay angry. And it’s a choice to forgive and let go. I hope you all find healing and love this week as we continue to put off our old ways together.

Praying for you,

Nicole C.